The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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