I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
wow bdsm is so cute
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize