Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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