I want to stick my p in your. b.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
