Small penises have feelings too.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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