thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Randomize
