Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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