Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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