I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
