Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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