I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
