Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize