So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
