you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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