writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
