Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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