Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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