i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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