she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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