You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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