I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
