cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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