This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
