I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
