i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
