mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
