At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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