i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
smell my finger.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
