My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
