the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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