so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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