you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
