I can tuck mytits in my pants
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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