after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
