My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
