The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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