I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
