is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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