Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
