Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Shame - the story of my life.
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