I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
