Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
