can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
