I need help removing her.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
