I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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