She said her name was "party"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize