After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
