yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize