Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
