There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
