This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
