Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
