I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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