I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
