when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
