Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
