my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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