But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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