in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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