worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
